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Saturday, July 26, 2014

I read therefore I blog

It's been a while since I've really given this blog any serious attention. Sometimes I wonder if this experiment might be over. Other times I compulsively type up rambling posts on strangely-specific topics plaguing my mind and then delete them right away because I'm emoting rather than saying anything worthwhile.

And then there are the days I think about starting over. The further back I read the more cringe-worthy posts I find. After all, there is no arguing with me in my 15-year old infinite wisdom. Maybe I should go for a clean slate? But then my history major half emerges and advocates for historical accuracy and I figure I should keep building on what is already here, just like we in real life add layers (hopefully of maturity) as each year goes by. 

There's also the fact that nobody knows about this. So basically I'm writing to myself. I guess it'd be fun to talk about the ideas with peeps but I like the anonymity too. It's kind of a little joke. Also this habit probably connects to the existence of the embarrassing posts of yesteryear. I have to make sure my acquaintances keep thinking I'M PERFECTLY WELL-ADJUSTED. (See if I write it in all caps that means it's true.)

One instance of foresight I didn't realize I'd appreciate so much: my choice of blog name. I spent at least a year agonizing over what to call this before I ever went through with making it. At the time, I liked "Ex Libris" because I was a manic bibliophile. Midway through college, I find the phrase has accumulated further meaning. Like C.S. Lewis and the medievals he wrote about, the person I am and the ideas I entertain all come from those who came before me. The older I get, the more my debt to my predecessors grows visible. I am fundamentally a collage of the books I read.

So that's why I keep writing here. It gives me the ability to go back and watch the layers build upon themselves. I want to remember the authors who continue to mold me into a better-rounded individual. It's one of the ways that I can see God working through history into my own life.

"If I have seen further it is by standing on the shoulders of giants." - Isaac Newton