In many ways, your church is what you make of it. I think a lot of people's frustrations with their own churches in the end come down to problems within themselves. The 5th grade me is the perfect example.
If you had asked me how I liked my new church at the time, I would have given you the mother of all laundry lists of things I despised about the place - everything from the lack of potential for friends to having to endure the longest, most boring sermons imaginable. I longed for the good old days - my old church, you see, was hip. The kids had their own service, complete with a hilarious pastor and fun activities. My many friends and I would use the time our parents spent talking involved in a bunch of random, rather incriminating adventures around the building (the danger of getting caught made it all the more fun). And in the services, everything was cool - trendy songs, practical sermons, short prayers....you get the idea.
My point in mentioning all this is to say that this church had set a precedent in my mind. As I sat grumbling about how geeky it is to go to a church with pews, it didn't occur to me that church could be about more than I had previously believed.
Many times there are those who have a legitimate grievance with their church. The doctrine could be wacky or a leader may have fallen into gross sin. But as I mentioned before, I think a lot of the other issues people have are really just their own. At 10, I didn't understand the fact that the purpose of church is first to worship God. There was nothing wrong with my new church - it was my priorities that were off. Church is not a dating service. It is not a community center. It is not a social activism club. While there are many people who do meet a spouse and make friends at church, those things are not its primary purpose. Church is here to focus us on God, not ourselves.
There's also the person who doesn't understand how the church works. An obvious example is the recluse who complains that they never get any fellowship. If there's any law I've learned about churchmanship it's this: What you get from a church is exactly the same as what you give to it. Come two times a month and leave in time for the football game, and yeah, people aren't going to remember your name. If you skip the prayer meeting, don't be surprised when you feel like you're out of the loop. And if you've always wanted to have close relationships like those in the "inner core," pay attention to their habits - they're the ones who come to the church when it's empty and do the thankless jobs that you've probably never even thought of. They're there for every service, and as a result, they've lived their lives with one another.
Speaking from my own experience, I think we tend to lose sight of our "first love" as John put it in Revelation, and thus start to build a lot of unrealistic and selfish expectations about what the church should be. When we are constantly being reminded of what God has done for us, we'll consider church the highlight of our week, because there we worship Him. When we start to neglect Him, other things begin to be more important to us, and we expect them to show up at church. That's when you start to see Jane Austen Bible Studies and blogs devoted to "pastor fashion." (No, I'm not even kidding.)
So I guess what I'm saying is anything worth having is worth working for. (And make sure it's worth having.)
How sweet and awful is the place
With Christ within the doors,
While everlasting love displays
The choicest of her stores.
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