He restores my soul

Ely Cathedral

After going through the trifecta of death last semester (school/work, money, and interpersonal drama), I made no secret here of being worn out. Mercifully, by the time things in Milwaukee seemed a little too claustrophobic, I was boarding a plane that would keep me five months and an ocean away from ground zero. I could regroup in Europe and deal with whatever problems still lingered when I returned home.

In my anticipation for Europe, I didn't realize just how much of a balm living here would actually be. Nearly two months in, I see how God has given me a new perspective. My church here is going through Hebrews 11 on Sundays, and I am pointed to God's faithfulness week after week. I'm making godly friendships which I hope will last long after I fly home. And for a while, I'm living in a place I had always thought would simply be a daydream on my part. This spring, so far, has felt like a rest after a long period of struggle.

I wish I could go back to November Sarah and show her that God really does follow through on His promises. I'm living through Susannah Spurgeon's words: "He may make us sore, but He will bind us up." I asked God to build my faith, and He showed me that I had misplaced my trust in an assortment of earthly variables. That whole process hurts a lot. But instead of stopping there, He drew me back to Himself and showed me His goodness. He daily makes me more and more reliant upon Himself alone.

Someone shared this at the women's bible study the other week, and it's resonated with me ever since:

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;

     his mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

    great is your faithfulness.

“The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, 

    “therefore I will hope in him. 

The Lord is good to those who wait for him, 

    to the soul who seeks him.

It is good that one should wait quietly 

    for the salvation of the Lord.

It is good for a man that he bear 

    the yoke in his youth. 

Let him sit alone in silence 

    when it is laid on him;

let him put his mouth in the dust— 

    there may yet be hope;

let him give his cheek to the one who strikes, 

    and let him be filled with insults.

For the Lord will not 

    cast off forever,

but, though he cause grief, he will have compassion 

    according to the abundance of his steadfast love;

for he does not afflict from his heart 

    or grieve the children of men.

Lamentations 3:22-33