MMXVI

HELLO BLOGOSPHERE!!

It's been a while, hasn't it? I blame everything on my English thesis. But now it's done and as, at the moment I am on winter break, I have some time to write other things. Also, I was at a coffee shop listening to a quintet from the Milwaukee Symphony Orchestra play and I had a mocha shake which usually doesn't affect me, even though I never drink coffee, but this time it did and I am TRIPPING and I think I freaked my friend Savannah out but YOLO. So I probably shouldn't be writing here under the (caffeine) influence, because EVERYTHING SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA, but what the heck, right?

As I was sitting on my bed, contemplating, as one does, it hit me - I have now been blogging for 7 years, which is basically a third of my life. WHAT? That just seems unreal but also totally hilarious. I look back and indulgently chuckle at the self-assuredness of fifteen year old me, but I'm sure that if I am still writing here in another seven years, twenty-nine year old me will be doing the same to all my cutting edge insights now. I remember a quote by Faulkner which goes like, "I never know what I think about something until I read what I' ve written on it." Throughout the past seven years, I've really come to understand that phenomenon. Especially in this past year, when I've begun to really write academically seriously (is that grammatically-correct? I'm a bad English major). Good writing requires the author to put himself in the position of the reader and have a conversation with himself. It forces you to question both your assumptions and ideas, and also the way you communicate them. Sometimes it makes me want to hit my head against the wall, but it is also one of the most rewarding elements of my life. And so I blog on.

I honestly don't know what to think of New Years resolutions anymore - torn between icy cynicism and progressive naïveté optimism - but there are a few ideas I've been toying with for this year. I'm always trying to improve my devotions, so I've decided to pick a book of the Bible each month and read a short commentary along with it in the mornings. Starting off with Hebrews, which I'm become rather fixated on. Again, that's a result of my thesis (boy that paper is instigating all the trouble in my life, I see) - I focussed on the Protestant treatment of metaphors, and along the way, discovered that Hebrews is really all about redemptive history as typology. So much of Calvinist theology puts a heavy emphasis on metaphor: The covenants, the sacraments, even the process of sanctification (the Puritans understood it as a restoration of God's image in us). Hebrews shows how the Christian life now is a picture of what it will be in heaven. Pretty jazzed about this. Maybe it'll turn into another extended writing project, we'll see.

Other goals...read more, travel somewhere I've never been, corral my fellow Reformed Baptist young adults in the area together more often.....festive stuff like that.

Future me is going to hate present me for this, and I'm sure this is the only time this will EVER happen on my blog, but I just discovered I can do emojis on here? What? Like I never even use these in texts because I typically have this exaggerated sense of dignity. 💷🇬🇧🎏(fish on a flagpole???) hahaha! Future reference: ☕️ = 💃

Signing off before I begin to hear colors.

Some holiday wisdom

Just emerging out of the mire of writing to share this gem. I contemplated being less gossipy by blurring out the name, but then there'd be all those fun copyright festivities. This catch-22 of charitable infringement probably should have been a sign to keep my mouth shut altogether, but I guess I need more sanctification.

 

I have so many questions. If "God's provision" is like air, and we're supposed to exhale it, doesn't exhaling mean you're getting rid of air from your lungs? So are we supposed to get rid of "God's provision"? What exactly happens spiritually when you exhale?  Or is it that peace exhales "God's provision"? How does that work? Is it like yoga? What if I'm having a laughing fit and I can't exhale? Am I at the mercy of worry? I need answers. Or at least more objects of sentences.

Ode to sleep deprivation

There is a very simple explanation for why I haven't blogged lately. I've been sleeping.

Of the many things I learned this past year, probably the most significant was the the average college student's remarkable ability to thrive on a frightening level of sleep deprivation. Oh the stories that come to mind....

• The time we all stayed up till 4AM on a school night when three of us had an 8AM class in....if you didn't catch that....4 hours. Ahh. We three souls met up on our ways to our respective classes that morning, and what a sight it was. We truly looked and acted like we had been partaking in illegal substances. Everything was JUST SO FUNNY. And then, that night, we had another party.
• The night I literally stumbled out of the administration building, due to high levels of exhaustion. Good thing I didn't drive.
• Then there was that other night a big snowstorm hit Milwaukee. This was when the rest of my family was in Florida and I held down the fort for two weeks. I had been at school all day. After a few of our late night shenanigans, in which we blissfully ignored the fact that my driveway was likely covered in at least a foot of snow because of more pressing issues at hand such as sitting in a conference room with the lights out discussing horror movies, I decided I must face the inevitable. Somehow, I managed to bribe two of my friends with the promise of a grocery bag of junkfood and a French baguette to come over and help me shovel my driveway at 3 in the morning. My driveway has never been cleared that quickly. After that, we sat around my kitchen table and feasted. What a great night. A week or two later, it happened again, and I got even more people to come. Looking back, I think the key is calling it a "party." (This pretty much works with anything: "Hey guys! Study party at 9!" will definitely get you a few people, plus a snack or two.)

photographic evidence

• Finally, I distinctly remember a day when two of my friends and I were sitting around at lunch, and we discovered that the number of hours of sleep between the three of us the previous night still did not add up to the full 8 hours recommended for adults. That one was impressive.
  

How does this happen, you ask? Here is a textbook example. It's 8pm and you've gone all day eating nothing but whatever free food you were able to scavenge, which doesn't amount to much. You and your friends spend several hours complaining about said collective hunger, arguing over what to get and who should buy, and blowing off homework. Finally, since nobody wants to walk anywhere because it's 45 degrees out and raining, you all agree on the staple of college diets, the pizza delivery. Then follows more arguing about what kind of pizza to get and how much. Finally, the pizza is ordered, under your own name, which your friends take advantage of by including in the "extra instructions" section the request to "tell me I'm beautiful." Finding out about this, mortified, you begin arguing again over who will actually answer the door. By the time the pizza guy gets there, it's after midnight and after another friend of yours shows up, everyone listens as the pair who answered the door tell about the awkward delivery guy:
"I guess I'm supposed to call you pretty. And you know what, you are!"
Then comes the feasting, in which several of you eat an astonishing amount of pizza, followed by reminiscing about the year spent together, because it's late at night at the end of the semester and everyone is getting nostalgic. Here you all realize that before you all leave, the world will not be able to continue spinning unless you go visit the courtyard together that you hung out in as a group for the first time back in Fall. So dropping everything, you file out into the said courtyard, running around in the rain and jumping in mud puddles. Because that's what mature adults do. When all is said and done, it's almost 2 in the morning and people are starting to fall asleep, even though most of you still have homework to finish. That, reader, is how we are beguiled of our sleep.

Anyways, when living in an environment in which 6 hours of sleep is a luxury, collapse is inevitable. By the end of the semester, you and your friends begin to have long, serious discussions eulogizing sleep. It's all you can think about. When summer break arrives, it is inaccurate to call it "summer vacation" as "summer hibernation" is what best describes it. So before my paper-writing skills begin to atrophy, I thought it best to resurface here and entertain myself you with relevant stories from college. Only a few more weeks before new ones start rolling in.....

Obsession

So today I discovered how to write a sonnet, and, being me, I wanted to try it out myself (mistake #1). After about a minute's deliberation of what to write about, it hit me - of course I was destined to start my poetic career by turning my favorite novel into a sonnet! (mistake # 2) After hours of grueling work trying find words that rhyme with "gallAHNT" and cursing iambic pentameter, I got so cracked up by what I created that I have decided to post it here for my your entertainment. (undoubtedly mistake # 3) So without further ado, I give you,

Sense and Sensibility Condensed into 14 Lines

To Devon came two sisters father-lost
   The first, of in-law's modest brother fond,
   Was wise and kind; the second, passion-toss'd,
   To be a true Romantic daily long'd.
The younger girl a pair of suitors gain'd:
   Laconic Col'nel and urbane gallant.
   The elder sister by a tale was pain'd -
   Her beau an ill engagement long had got.
The suave hero was found to be a rake -
   It nearly killed the jilted girl; meanwhile
   Shy Edward lost, for revok'd birthright's sake,
   His vain fiance to his brother's pile.
He wed Elinor at last - happy man -
   And Colonel Brandon won his Marianne.

Hahahahhahahaha!

Of the dread SAT and its aftermath - a rant

So on the 4th I took the SAT, and my brain, in reaction to the trauma it experienced in being forced to use solely its left side for 4.5 hours, revolted and allowed me the use of only the right side the following week. So pretty much all I did was sew, garden, and clean. (The operative word there being 'all'. Normally I like all three, but at the end of the week I felt like I was in a coma.)

Do you know how ego-trying it is to have to wait nearly a month to know how smart you are? It's only on the 23rd that I get to see not only whether I'm smarter than a 5th grader but also, more importantly, if I'm really as intelligent as I pretend I am. And then I guess finding out whether I'm eligible for scholarships is nice too.....

And don't for a second believe that you can trust your gut feeling on how you did. It is a lie. A nasty lie, a la Jeremiah 17:9. Maddie, who is much braver than I, took the ACT twice (aghh!!!) and said that on the last time, she felt like she did much better than she did on the first. But in the end, she got the same score. And take my own personal experience. Each time I'd practice a section - let's say math - I'd finish, feeling pretty confident and exclaiming like Napoleon Dynamite "It's sweet, it's awesome, it's, INCREDIBLE!" at my mental prowess, only to be faced with the stark reality that I got only half the problems right. Reader, it is an experience unmatched in disappointment.

Anyways, things are back to normal now that I can look at a book or my email without my brain shutting down. I'll just try to amuse myself with my blog in a desperate attempt to keep my sanity while waiting for next Thursday. IT CAN'T COME SOON ENOUGH. Pity me.

"Heresy Hunting"

I'm of the opinion that the best way to understand a false teaching is to read what the "culprit" himself has to say - not what his critics write about him. Sure, reading critiques of the former can be helpful, but I'm wary about trusting 3rd parties when it comes to these things. I want to see it for myself. So I decided to make a list of 12 books written by people ranging from those who I disagree with on a minor doctrinal issue to outright dangerous heretics. What have I read so far, you ask?

First, there was Mere Christianity. C.S. Lewis seems to be the most quoted Christian thinker of the 20th century, so of course most of the book was pretty good. What I didn't like was his cavalier approach to explaining the atonement ("Yeah, the whole thing does sound pretty dumb when you think of it, but hey, it works!") and the pattern of his reasoning skills melting down at the very hint of Calvinism. While I enjoyed looking at Christianity from a philosophical perspective, I'm not quite sure what I think of using that to introduce non-believers to what we believe. (The Bible says faith comes through the reading of the Word, and I barely remember seeing any Scripture in the book.)

Next was The Prayer of Jabez. It is the most mercenary book I've ever read. The message of the book? God is longing to give you all these assorted blessings, but can't because we won't ask for them!!!!! Here's the crowning glory of it all:

"In my experience, most Christians seem to pray solely for strength to endure temptations - for victory over the attacks of our raging adversary, Satan. Somehow we don't think to ask God to simply to keep us away from temptation and keep the devil at bay in our lives. But in the model prayer Jesus gave His followers, nearly a quarter of its fifty words ask for deliverance: "And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one" (Matt. 6:13). Nothing about spiritual insight or special powers. Not a word about confrontation. When was the last time you asked God to keep you away from temptation? In the same way that God wants you to ask for more blessing, more territory, and more power, He longs to hear you plead for safekeeping from evil. Without a temptation, we would not sin. Most of us face too many temptations - and therefore sin too often - because we don’t ask God to lead us away from temptation. We make a huge spiritual leap forward, therefore, when we begin to focus less on beating temptation and more on avoiding it."

asghdfgibsdfhbgripfgerpgiohwrtopghrtbgp

Moving on, the last book I finished was The Da Vinci Code. Honestly, I don't understand why every Christian author has found it his duty to write a refutation or two of this - it's just a mystery novel. It's fiction. Yeah, the parts elaborating the alleged Jesus-Mary Magdalene affair were pretty irritating, but I really don't think a secular novel - not a Christian ALLEGORY, like The Shack - is that dangerous to the church.

Finally, I'm currently reading 'Reformed' Is Not Enough by Doug Wilson. The Federal Vision camp is really confusing. So far, what strikes me is that they're obsessed with focusing on the church visible, at the expense of protecting the church invisible. Normally, I don't think I would really give too much attention to this group, as I'm not a Presbyterian, but you come across it a lot in the Christian classical homeschooling circle, so I wanted to be able to recognize it when I see it.

So maybe next I'll read The Purpose Driven Life, now that Warren and Piper are friends. How the heck did that happen?

On the evils of ammonia

Today, we met with some friends for a weekly science/speech/home ec. co-op. The three of us who are in chemistry do the experiments at the library, and this week we needed ammonia, which one of us brought, and then forgot to take home. ;-) Being the stunningly nice people that we are, we took it with us when we left. 

Now it is important to mention here that, as there wasn't any lid, the cover of the jug-o-ammonia has to be covered with tin foil. So, when we were turning into the Culvers parking lot to get some dinner (yeah, we're real classy), what do you know! the ammonia spilled. After the assorted shrieks and exclamations that followed, mom pulled into an obscure parking spot and rushed off to rinse out the carpet which had been hit, while I guarded the jug which had now been banished to sit on the piece of ice we parked on. So ignoring the cold of the ice coming through my thin shoes (so Oliver Twist-esque) and how awkward I must have looked - a random teen standing in a parking lot with a jug of a major ingredient in meth - I waited for mom to come back. She finally did, and we deemed waiting in line while inhaling the fumes not worth the brain damage, so we headed home. 

So while mom drove, I held the jug with my feet while avoiding the fumes by hanging my head out the window, sort of like a dog. (In 30 degree weather) Here, I was faced with a decision. I read on a blog a while back that, when in an irritating situation, you can either laugh or cry. Being more of a fan of the former, I started laughing......and laughing..... (Those fumes were getting strong there....) We eventually got home, evacuated the car, and consigned the ammonia to its fate on our front porch, where it is sitting now.

So there was really no point in writing this post, except that I found it entertaining and love the piece of advice I mentioned in the preceding paragraph. And to warn you against the evils of  traveling with ammonia, I guess.

Miscellanies # 3

My friend gave me this shirt a couple weeks ago. Is this not the greatest ever?

With all this drama in Libya, I'm seeing some posts on Facebook by people who are adamantly against America's getting involved, mentioning Bush's invasion of Iraq. It has me thinking. I'm not for our getting ourselves in the middle of every little skirmish that occurs around the world, but I definitely do not support Isolationism. I can't help but wonder whether WW2 would have ended differently - and many lives have been saved - if FDR hadn't waited so long to get involved.  Yeah, I'm not a fan of America meddling in everybody's business, but if we could prevent another Hitler or Stalin, might it worth it to get involved SOMETIMES?

It seems like all the Christian Blogosphere has been talking about in the past few weeks is Rob Bell's new book. I'm surprised that everybody's surprised. I mean, wouldn't you EXPECT a leader of the Emergent group to be a universalist? I'm just finding it to be incredibly underwhelming.

As Sense and Sensibility is my favorite book, I am so doing this.

I love this first question/answer of the Heidelberg Catechism:

Q. What is your only comfort in life and death?
A. That I am not my own,
but belong-
body and soul,
in life and in death,
to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.

Blizzard

Cars are buried in snowdrifts, people are stranded in their houses, and friends in Texas are reporting sub-freezing temperatures. Yes, my dear readers, global warming is upon us.

After being summoned from my nice, WARM bed this morning, this is what greeted me when I looked out the kitchen window:

 

The awesome thing about this is that, when people heard there was a blizzard coming, they were like, "Cool. Hey, the Packers are going to the Superbowl." But if North Carolina was expecting 1 inch of snow, there'd be panic and all Walmarts would be raided for bread and milk. Hahaha.

Snow on the icicles

Blizzards are fun until you've been out shoveling in 20 degree weather with 20 mph. winds for an hour and a half. And that's after you've gotten 1/10 of your driveway done. Thank goodness for nice neighbors with snowblowers.

The patio table!

Last night, when we could hardly see out the window, we were pretty sure we saw a lightning flash. Is that possible in a blizzard? I will leave you with that profound thought. Stay warm!

Cruelty

 Wow. The pattern companies have stooped far too low.

You can just see the humiliation on these dogs' faces.

The coolest Halloween costume ever, no?

Hahahahaha

This literally JUST fell into our yard:

It's hard to tell from the pictures, but it's a pretty tall tree. Good thing it fell where the pool used to be, and not on top of the house! Now to figure out how to get rid of it........

Wow.

"Frederick the Wise, the elector of Saxony, Luther's prince, was a man of simple and sincere piety who had devoted a lifetime to making Wittenberg the Rome of Germany as a depository of sacred relics. He had made a journey to all parts of Europe, and diplomatic negotiations were facilitated by an exchange of relics. The king of Denmark, for example, sent him fragments of King Canute and St. Brigitta.

The collection had as its nucleus a genuine thorn from the crown of Christ, certified to have pierced the Savior's brow. Frederick so built up the collection from this inherited treasure that the catalogue illustrated by Lucas Cranach in 1509 listed 5,005 particles, to which were attached indulgences calculated to reduce Purgatory by 1,443 years. The collection included one tooth of St. Jerome, of St. Chrysostom four pieces, of St. Bernard six, and of St. Augustine four; of Our Lady four hairs, three pieces of her cloak, four from her girdle, and seven from the veil sprinkled with the blood of Christ. The relics of Christ included one piece from his swaddling clothes, thirteen from his crib, one wisp of straw, one piece of the gold brought by the Wise Men and three of the myrrh, one strand of Jesus' beard, one of the nails driven into his hands, one piece of bread eaten at the Last Supper, one piece of the stone on which Jesus stood to ascend into heaven, and one twig of Moses' burning bush. By 1520 the collection had mounted to 19,013 holy bones. Those who viewed these relics on the designated day and made the stipulated contributions might receive from the pope indulgences for the reduction of purgatory, either for themselves or others, to the extent of 1,902,202 years and 270 days. These were the treasures made available on the day of All Saints."

(Here I Stand, pp. 51-53)

How do people come up with this stuff????

Randomness

My delphinium earlier this summer. I love that plant.

1. So today I was going on my merry way down the freeway, when all the sudden, this person forgot that when you merge, you don't have the right of way. After forcing me out of my lane and nearly creating the worst car accident in world history, the aforesaid driver proceeded to swear/display ungenteel hand signals/etc at yours truly. Now you're probably thinking I'd better get a life/toughen up for making such a big deal about the fiasco, well maybe you're right, but the story gets rather funny. Before I got off the freeway, we saw up ahead that the driver took the same exit as we normally do. As it turns out, they ended up driving down the very street we live on.
   I've never stalked somebody before (really, I haven't), but we had a pretty good time guessing what that driver was thinking as they probably thought that's what I was doing. As they turned down a side street near my house, I was quite tempted to go drive through my neighborhood looking for any black SUV's parked in driveways, but I decided against it. It'd be slightly awkward if they recognized me. :-)
2. I remember mentioning that I planned to post more on here as I could count it as writing assignments for school. Well, the topics I came up with are incredibly boring, even for this blog. How exactly do you make an explanation for why the Renaissance started in Italy engaging? Anyways, speaking of posting on here, Maddie & I were collaborating about possible Junto books, and I think a decision will be anounced soon. (Because I know all 4 of my readers are dying to know)
3. Right now my family is watching some movie where a doll comes to life and goes around killing people. Did the writers REALLY think we'd find it believable that this little toy could inflict that much damage? Besides, aren't there other movies with similar cheesy, rabid dolls? They always have stupid women, uncannily smart four year olds, and dolls that appear to die by burning in the end, but later return in sequals. (Ok, now this movie is reminding me of Terminator) LAME. Why is my family still watching this?
4. Lately the weather has become very fall-ish. The days are clear and windy, the temperatures are cooler, and the leaves are changing. September is one of the best months in Wisconsin, if you ask me. I think it's high time for a corn maze and bonfire. I remember one corn maze we went to that was shaped like the logo of the Green Bay Packers. I know, I know.........
5. Food for thought, a la Jonathan Edwards (I love this theologian): "Religion, in its purity, is not so much a pursuit as a temper; or rather it is a temper, leading to the pursuit of all that is high and holy. Its foundation is faith; its action, works; its temper, holiness; its aim, obedience to God in improvement of self, and benevolence to men."

Hither and thither

John Waterhouse, A Grecian Flower Market

1. I recently finished reading The Rule of St. Benedict. Whooaaaaaaa. I'm so glad I'm Protestant. Those monasteries are something else, let me tell ya. For instance, there was a no talking rule. Even if you had guests or a hoity toity bishop or something there, you'd be in deep yogurt* for speaking to them. (Obviously, these monasteries are for men....women wouldn't survive for 5 minutes with no chit chat) Also, you had to go to prayer services around 7 times a day. That meant waking up in the middle of the night. Yeesh. Usually I'm a pretty laid back person, but let me tell you, if I have a bad night's sleep, watch out! Yeah, so I'd never make it there.
2. For all those who like the game Monopoly, you'll like it even more after reading this article. Surprising, huh?
3. The school year's coming to a close. Remember when I mentioned in September that I made the mother of all reading lists? Well, that mamoth number of 24 books has now been whittled down to 15. Funny how that happens. What was I thinking? [shaking head]
4. I love the paintings done by John Waterhouse. It's probably because his subjects are mostly of  legends or the myths of my beloved Classical world. Ahhh. Do any of my 3 readers have a favorite painter?
5. Charles Spurgeon had a great morning devotional for today.

*"deep yogurt" is a phrase easily recognized by anyone who's taken an IEW course. Mr. Pudewa is awesome.

My litterary hall of shame....or....The books I wish I didn't bother reading

THIS COULD BE YOU

In no particular order:

1. The Mysteries of Udolpho. Ok, well, I'm sort of glad I read this one, because I kept hearing about it in Jane Austen and such. But boy, was this one a doozy. The character line-up includes a flighty heroine, a hero who eerily resembles John Willoughby in Sense & Sensibility, an aunt perpetually having a bad day, and the evil Count Montoni (he was really mean). It also boasts one of the sappiest plots ever. In parts where Mrs. Radcliffe intended for me to cry, I usually ended up laughing like a madwoman.
2. Wuthering Heights. Perhaps one of my 3 readers has already noticed my disdain for this book. Cathy has too much of an attitude for me to sympathize with her, Heathcliff must be mad, and what is with the cousin marriage at the end? {shiver} Besides that, the tone of the book is so dreary that you feel depressed after each time you read it. And don't get me started on the plot...
3. The Inheritance (Louisa May Alcott). This one makes Udolpho look serious. Also, if you've read Little Women, this would most definitely be the book Jo wrote. Features include archaic language complete with "thee" and "thou" usage and a predictable plot. Its one of the rare occasions when the movie is better than the book.
4. Messenger. Lois Lowry is too out there. Unless you like books that don't make sense and end bleakly with conclusions that make you scratch your head.
5. Gilgamesh. The ancient Sumerians had strange, strange minds. Nuff said.

I would have included Twilight here, but as I haven't had the horror of reading the series, I didn't think it'd be fair to include a book I haven't read. :D

What I did today

No, nothing exciting. But some of the ordinary stuff was sort of funny.

Lately there's been a warm spell around here, so my mom and I have been trying to go walking each morning. Well, today was a cold, rainy day (welcome to spring in WI ), so we decided to expand our horizons: We joined the mall walkers. Boy, was that an experience. We walked in, confident but slightly concerned that it might not be as big of a work out because there aren't any hills and stuff. But then reality set in. The place was full of power walkers! Ten minutes into it, mom and I, forced to walk faster than we usually do, were about to fall over. And then we saw some senior citizens, with a walker booking it in front of us! Yeah, so we only made it around 2 1/2 times, suffering and thoroughly humiliated. ;-)

Later on, I was reading The Year 1000 for school, and I came across this:

There was no concept of antiseptic at all. If a morsel of food fell off your plate, the advice of one contemporary document was to pick it up, make the sign of the cross over it, season it well - and then eat it.

The sign of the cross was the antiseptic of the year 1000.

Oh my goodness. I knew nobody knew about germs, but that they were that "earthy"? No wonder people died at 30!

Then, after church, we went to Walmart. In the check-out line, Mary spotted this:

You saw it right. I think this one doesn't require comment. Sorry if the picture's blurry - I was laughing too hard to keep the camera steady.

Today was interesting.

Great literature

A while back I found this story I wrote from 5th grade - back in the day when writing class was the bane of my existence. Ha.

Once there was this old woman who was a grandma and she was the type that drove REALLY slowly, and that people would honk at. So, one day she sent her favorite granddaughter a set of her favorite book series. Since she was old, she forgot to put any clue of who it was from on the package.

When her grandaughter got it, she got really excited and went straight to her sunny bedroom to read her new books. Two days later, she realized that she should send a thank-you note to the person who sent it. So, since she had saved the package, she began to look for any identification.

Since there was none, she was really confused because she couldn't tell who it was from. (She was only 11 1/2 and 22 days old so it wasn't like she was an agent from the FBI or CIA or something, though she was pretty bright. For a blond.) One day Granny decided to come over for a visit. On her way on the 35 mph road, she was going at like 2mph so tons of people were honking and skipping her. Man, was she s-l-o-w! When she finally got there, Martha, (her granddaughter,) ran to the door to greet her. When she asked her how she liked the books she sent her, Martha realized that it was her grandmother who gave her the books and told her about them. And, as usual, they lived happily ever after. The end.

 I know, this ought to be admitted into the short stories section of the Great Books canon.

3 Observations -

1. This is back in the day when I was strangely obsessed with frumpy really old fashioned names. Who the heck has been named Martha after 1990?!?! No offense to anyone who is. Cough.
2. The main character (the aforesaid Martha) eerily resembles myself at the date of "publication" - yours truly was
   
   
   • 11 1/2 (not sure about the 22 days), 
   • liked to read and was obsessed with the Mandie series, 
   • always wanted a "sunny bedroom," 
   • probably would disappear for several days upon receiving a box full of books, 
   • saved packaging from presents,
   • had blond hair, 
   • and I still have a problem with getting thank-you notes to people.

3. Wow. I had forgotten about how sarcastic I was.

Anyways, I also used my magnificent artistic skills and illustrated my story.....

Granny's wrinkles sort of look like cut marks. That'd be sort of weird to have an emo grandmother.......

Martha seems to be missing a leg. I wonder how that happened.

Ahh, the discoveries made from the past.

On medieval kings and the blogosphere

Has any of my three readers ever been struck by the utter randomness of medieval king-naming conventions? Take the French, for instance. First, we have Charlemagne. Although the "the great" suffix is a classic cliche, it isn't as bad as it could be because they actually incorporate it into his first name. Pretty nifty, if I dare say so myself. Next there's Louis the Pious. He sounds like a nice kind of guy. Then there's my personal favorite, Charles Martel. There are several reasons for this:

1. This is a nice usage of foreign language - "Martel" is french for hammer, which brings me to....
   
2. It's got a historical incident behind it - because of his crushing defeat of the Muslims at Tours, people likened him to the aforesaid tool, and finally,
   
3. How many people have a metaphor in their name? Major points for such inovative creativity.

However, not so many kings were this lucky. Members of the hall of shame would include Pepin the Short, Charles the Bald, Louis the Stammerer and Charles the Fat. Wow, these poor guys' subjects must have had it in for them. How would you like to go down in history with a name like that? They obviously must have had high taxes.

I could go on and on about Viking names, but I think we'd all agree that they were pretty original in that department.



Moving on........I want to mention that my sister, Mary now has a blog. She's a lot funnier/more interesting than I am, so I'm risking losing my meager readership by mentioning it here. On top of that, she has this amazing ability to come up with an entertaining post on an unpromising topic. I wish I knew where she gets that from. Sigh.

2 Things that annoy me, a cool quote, and conclusive evidence that I'm a nerd

It occurred to me, after writing that title, that it sort of resembles the table-of-contents-titles Puritans gave their books. Cool.

Anyways, sorry for not posting much lately.....you'd think that summer provides a bunch of time to get a gazillion things done, so you make a list of a gazillion and one things to do. I ended up accomplishing....oh, I'll be generous.......maybe.......4.5? [Doesn't it amuse you when researchers proudly report that the average family has 1.5 children? HA!] Oh well. Now that the school year's back, and I have more time to write :-), I'll try to write more boring posts like I did before.

Irritating thing #1: Lately I was thinking about churches that believe that children should remain with their parents at all times so that the fathers can oversee everything the kid learns there; therefore there's no separate Sunday schools, etc. Why on earth would you go to a church if you don't trust the teaching enough to let your kids to be taught by an elder without you being around? Why should you be learning there? The elders of a church are shepherds to the whole flock - both the adults and the children.

Irritating thing #2: I've been reading a book called The Civilization of the Middle Ages. I'm on page 40, and so far the author has taught me this about Christianity (among other things):

1. Our doctrines are borrowed from Platonic and Stoic philosophies. [Hmmmm......I guess he never read Colossians 2:8.....wouldn't it be strange for Paul to warn us against the very philosophies that he "borrowed" our major doctrines from?]
2. The Holy Spirit is the pre-incarnate Christ.
3. Christ didn't consider Himself THE Messiah.
4. Some guy tacked on the ending of Job later on because the story seemed too bleak.

Note to author: Maybe you should read the Bible before you tell people what it teaches.

On a more orthodox note, here's what I read this morning by Henry Scrougal:

The love of the world, and the love of God, are like the scales of a balance, as the one falls, the other rises: when our natural inclinations prosper, and the creature is exalted in our soul, religion is faint, and languishes; but when earthly objects wither away, and lose their beauty, and the soul begins to cool and flag in its prosecution of them, then the seeds of grace take root, and the divine life begins to flourish and prevail. (The Life of God in the Soul of Man, p. 113)

So true!

Later on this week I'll REALLY TRY to get a real post out, since the arduous first week of school is over. Here I come to the sobering evidence that I really am a nerd:

1. I was excited for school to start. Teenagers aren't supposed to be that way.
2. I made a list of medieval great books that I want to read this year, and the result was not the normal 8 or so. It wasn't 12. Nor 18. For crying out loud, IT WAS 24!!!!! I shocked myself! This is the bibliophile's version of the "your eyes are too big for your stomach" syndrome. How on earth am I going to pull this one off? This will take super-human capabilities to accomplish....and the last time I checked, I'm not extremely gifted like that. Yikes.
3. I enjoy reading the aforesaid books. And I used to wonder why I didn't have many friends.......

I need a 12-step program.

Another miscellaneous post

1. What's the deal with the conservative media all hyped up about Wacko Jacko? They always pride themselves on being more accurate and reporting on pertinent things. So, that's why they're talking about Jackson 24/7 while North Korea is planning to launch a missile at Hawaii in 4 days. Of course.....people always make perfect sense.
   
   
2. Here's an interesting quote I came across by John Angell James: "Your first object of existence...should be the salvation of your soul; the next, the benefit of your fellow-creatures; and then comes the improvement of your mind."
   
   
3. This looks like a really interesting book. I want it.