Summer 2016

The past 2 months:

Finished the never-ending year of thesis projects

We had forgotten what a coffee table devoid
of research paraphernalia looked like

Graduated

Processional Selfie

Went to Arizona (BTC 2.0)

Driving through the Sonoran Desert

May or may not have gone on a joyride around the NAU campus in this at night

Braved the hordes of stoners and overpriced concessions of Summerfest to see one of my favorite bands play

Young the Giant put on a delightful performance

Got some good views of Milwaukee as we walked along the lakefront

I kind of love my city

The other day, I realized I'd go mad if I didn't do something academic soon, so I pulled out some of my best papers from college in order to start revising them. I'm hoping I can get them to be high quality enough to be potential journal articles. We will see. Also finally doing the edits for my English thesis.

This year, I've been reading Dorothy Sayers' mysteries, and I'm about 100 pages into Gaudy Night. Pretty much from the first page, I knew this would become one of my favorite books. Besides the mystery narrative, I love how it explores women's place in academia, and what I think a lot of us struggle with in feeling like there has to be a choice between pursuing what feels like two competing callings (research and relationships). Reading the book has illuminated many of the issues I've begun to think about post-graduation. My thought processes about my future tend toward an either-or, all-or-nothing attitude that results in two equally-unsettling pictures of me 15 years from now: Reformed-Nun-Devoted-to-Academia or Overwrought-Mother-Mourning-Missed-Opportunities. Both are kind of terrifying.

Grad school will be over before I know it, and.....then what? I hate the type of person who defines him/her-self by their schooling (I've listened to them talk and their humble bragginess is slightly insufferable), which makes me all the more anxious to make sure I'm actively involved in the church. But to cast a glance in the direction of the feminist soapbox, it's very difficult to establish yourself as a single woman in the family-dominated culture of the church. Not being male, it's easy to feel that my potential contribution is marginal at best. (For the record, I stand in firm agreement with the biblical teaching on the church officers being exclusively male).

Based on conversations I've had with other single people, I think that sense of displacement is pretty common; things are great when you have a community of likeminded, similarly-placed people around you, but being the only one can be incredibly alienating (and when you're a confessional Reformed Baptist, the latter is often the case). There is much to be said for learning from the wisdom of those around you who are not in your demographic, but how do you replace the unique kind of fellowship, accountability, and encouragement that comes from having Christian peers? What does it mean to embrace biblical femininity when half the descriptions of virtuous womanhood do not apply to you? I've been asking myself these questions a lot lately. Ultimately, we will only find happiness and contentment in submission to the will of God. Furthermore, God never puts us in a position where there are no opportunities to serve the church in some way or another. Amidst all my questions, these truths have been invaluable in not going crazy.

That got way heavier than I intended, but I suppose a lot of those thoughts were bound to come out here eventually. Living the dream.